Relationships

What does it mean when I say that I love someone? It’s so very important, when discussing such delicate matters, to be sure to define all of our terms. I am attracted to people who resonate with my aesthetic, or with whom I perceive an energetic congruency. I like people that I resonate with a little, I love people that I resonate with a lot, and I consider myself to be ‘in love’ with people with whom I have become entrained. My conscious will plays a role in this process, but it does not control it. […]

Relationships are living systems. They’re dissipative structures. They require permeable boundaries in order to survive. Walled off from the world they will starve, but they’ll fail just as surely if they’re utterly unbounded, offering no framework in which the organizing principle can manifest itself. […]

Fidelity doesn’t necessarily imply monogamy – it just means having a high signal to noise ratio.

— Teafaerie, “High Fidelity“

Marriage juxtaposes minor irritations with intimate sex with boring chores with exciting adventures with painful disconnection with warm affection. Even when it’s good, that’s what marriage is. Try to ride the wave.

— Daphne de Marneffe, The Rough Patch

Many of the following resources are about romantic relationships, and some specifically focus on marriage. Much of the information that they contain is broadly useful for navigating communication, choice-making, and emotional resilience in many kinds of close relationships.

You may also find relevant skills and perspectives through the pages on communication and working with emotions.

Books

Articles